Choosing a therapist should not feel like a guess. It should not feel like pressure, either.
A first consultation is not a test you have to pass, and it is not a commitment you have to make on the spot. It is a conversation — and the questions you ask in it tell you more than a friendly voice ever will.
Here are 5 questions worth asking, with what to listen for in each answer:
1. “What EMDR training have you completed, and when?”
Listen for a clear, specific answer — the training, and roughly when — not just “I do EMDR.”
2. “How do you decide if someone is ready to begin?”
Listen for a process, not a promise. A careful answer talks about preparation and pacing, rather than rushing to start or guaranteeing a result.
3. “What happens if a session feels unfinished?”
Listen for a plan for hard days: how they close a session, how they check how you are leaving, and what you can do between sessions.
4. “How do you handle it if I need to slow down or stop?”
Listen for respect for “no” as a complete answer, without having to justify it.
5. “What are the practical details — session length, fees, and cancellation?”
Listen for plain, upfront answers. If the practical side is vague now, it rarely gets clearer later.
Write the answers down, therapist by therapist, and compare them side by side instead of relying on memory. A therapist can be kind and still not be the right fit, and a less polished first call can still be right — if the answers are clear, the pacing is respectful, and you feel safe to be honest.
Booking, keeping looking, and pausing are all valid outcomes, if they are honest ones. You do not have to decide in the room.
If you want the full script — 12 questions, what to listen for on each, a 10-point scorecard, and session-ready note sheets — the 14-day workbook walks you through it, on the front page: https://1emdr.com/
General education only. Not therapy and not medical advice. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services, or in the US call or text 988.
